Zìjǐ Xiězuò (自己寫作) I Write for Myself: Labels


Labels. Many frown upon them. There seem to be simply an overwhelming amount of labels that an equally overwhelming amount of people have chosen for themselves. Even those who refuses conformity and declare themselves free of such social constraints, in it of itself, the declaration is a form of labeling.

But labeling is not all bad and for some, a label can provide much needed answers and lead to resolutions. For example, figuring out that I have FODMAP food sensitivity not only alleviated my frustrations but the label provided a roadmap of how I can curtail my nutrition so that I can eat and feel good. Often times not knowing, no label, is much worse but I can certainly understand that for some, all the labels are just nonsense.

When it comes to personality traits, we are often presented with two choices – extrovert or introvert. However, extrovert and introvert are only the two extremes on a spectrum and for years, the Hubs was convinced that I was an extrovert but I knew better. The key element in determining where I fell was who each personality recharged. The extrovert is energized with other people, while introverts needs mass quantity of time alone. While I can find enjoyment in crowds, parties, or group events, my tolerance has limitations. And when my energy is all gone, I can’t retreat to a quiet place fast enough to recharge. I am what is called ambivert. Ambiverts have both introverted and extroverted tendencies and often lean towards one end of the spectrum or the other based on the social situations.

Quarantine during COVID-19 pandemic was challenging for many people for many reasons. For some it was the sheer inability to fulfill the very basic human need to socialize with other sentient being. While for others it was the inability to leave one’s quarters with a bit of cabin fever. For me, it was the lack of opportunity to have solitary time to recharge.

I was working from home. Thing 2’s classes were all online. We, like many other families partook in getting a COVID puppy which is essentially like having a child without the benefits of a diaper. Being a homebody, sometimes I felt as if it was difficult to just breathe because there were no where for me to hide to recoup 5 minutes of no obligation, no interaction, and just sit in priceless utter silence.

I remember that I would ride my scooter and brave the cold just so I can scrape some time of being alone but it’s not quite the same as being able to curl into the corner of a comfy chair, with a favorite book, and a cup of hot tea. On the weekends, the house was even louder and more populated as the Hubs would be home.

When I hear that many single people were drowning in loneliness, I often internally marveled at their luxury of being alone. I suppose that the grass is truly greener on the other side.